Journal Day #10

Journal Day #10 - What Am I Good At?
Prompt:  Quite simply, what are you good at?  All of us have particular strengths - what are yours?  This week, talk about these talents, big or small.  Ideas: discuss how you use these things in your daily life or job, how you discovered a knack for this or that, perhaps even touch on whether or not you are passionate about the things you're good at.

I had to think about this one for awhile.  What am I good at, what are my strengths?  I think it's hard to look at yourself and see those things, especially in a world where we seem to be focused on the flaws.  I like the way Danielle at Sometimes Sweet shared hers in a list so I'm going to do the same:

• I'm loyal.  If you are my close family or close friend (and not completely off your rocker) I have your back.  Chances are even if you are completely off your rocker I'd still have your back.
• I'm a good listener.  I am not a huge fan of talking about myself, but I am great at listening to other people and (hopefully) offering helpful advice.
• I'm reliable.  I may procrastinate, and have some trouble prioritizing, but if something needs to be done I will get it done.  I'm also never late.
• I'm silly.  I try not to take myself too seriously, and I like to be goofy.

I'd like to believe these strengths make me a good person to have around both personally and professionally.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!

Journal Day #9

Journal Day 9 - Beauty
Prompt:  How would you say your upbringing or background has shaped your idea of beauty?  Were you taught to apply makeup or do your hair by your mother or friends?  If not, where did you observe what is now your norm as far as beauty practices?  And although most of us have been inundated by different cultural beauty "norms" via the media, would you say that television and magazines have had a strong impact on shaping what you think of as beautiful?  This week, write about your idea of beauty - how your background has shaped it and what that means for you today.

For me, my mom was (is) my idea of beauty.  She has long flowing hair past her waist that she never cut as long as I've been alive.  She never spent time in the bathroom putting on make up.  She was a wash and go type of woman.  She had a glow of love and contentment about her that no amount of makeup could ever give her.  My mom grew up on a farm, and when she grew up she became a nurse.  For her, trying to get all dolled up was sort of a waste of time.  That's not to say she didn't use make up from time to time, she just didn't spend hours in front of the mirror doing it.  Simple.  My dad loves her just the way she is, and always has.

Growing up, since I never really saw her putting on make up or styling her her it wasn't something I had any interest in until I was introduced to it by the kids I went to school with.  It didn't really become a big deal until middle school when kids were actually starting to experiment with it and wear to school.  Of course I wanted to try it and fit in, but that was a big NO from my parents.  By the time high school rolled around, and my parents relented on the make up front, I had no idea what I was doing.  Most of the other kids had been playing around with it with each other, or with their moms.  Being kind of an outcast I didn't get invited to the playing with hair and make up slumber parties until I was older, and then it was more of a subject of torment than fun (well, fun for them and torment for me).  The girls like to make me up to look ridiculous (something I will be blogging about more at some point), rather than to help instruct me on how to do it.  As a result, I didn't wear much make up.  I was terrible at putting it on, I was self-conscious when I did, and my "friends" picked up on that and only teased me about it worse.  It might have been different if YouTube and the internet tutorials had been a thing when I was growing up.  But that wasn't an option.

As an adult (and sometimes I still have to giggle about that word applying to me now) I can apply some make up with out too much of a clown look.  I tried doing it every day, but I hate spending that much time in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror.  I hate having to make sure I have the time in the morning to "make the magic" happen.  I'd rather be snuggled in bed with my husband, or enjoying a cup of coffee and an episode of Doctor Who with my husband.  I'm lucky to be married to a guy who prefers me with out make up.  We are both the wash and go types, and it is wonderful!

Today there are different ideas of beauty every where you look.  We really are bombarded with it in commercials and even the programs we watch.  Yes some of those size zero girls on the TV program are pretty, but my mom is still my idea of beauty.  I think that beauty lies in anyone that is truly happy and content with who they are whether they are covered in tattoos, or make up, or simple wash and go.  For me, beauty has become more than just visual, it's also a mind set.  I think that realization has helped me come to peace with my own self image.

Coffee Break

So I've been a little bit fail with the blogging lately.  I do have some drafts in the queue, I just haven't been able (okay, motivated) to get them worked into shape.  I feel like I'm just sitting and staring at the screen a lot and day dreaming about coffee, or chocolate, or a mocha.  Then I start to wonder if it's too early to start drinking wine yet and then I realize that's problematic because I'm still at work and it would just be a really bad idea to be drinking at work.  Well it would be a brilliant idea, but still a bad one too.

Also, allergies, and sickness is all around this time of year.  I'm currently combating fuzzy head/snot nose and trying like heck to not get the flu that has penetrated the office.

So clearly I need to wake up, avoid the booze (until happy home time), keep healthy and get back into the writing.  I promise I'll have something up here again other than Journal Day prompts (and I just got the next one-yay!) and this silly little post.  If you are still here reading, thanks for sticking around.

Journal Day #8

Journal Day #8 - Religion
Prompt:  Would you consider yourself a religious person?  Quite simply - what do you believe happens when you die?  Have you always believed this?  Do your current beliefs align with what you were taught as a child?  And if not, what was the turning point?  This week, talk about your religion or spiritual beliefs (or perhaps your lack of), and try to sum up, if you can, what you believe happens "next."

I'm not going to lie, I read this prompt and thought "ugh."  Religion is one of those things that I don't like to talk about.  My opinion differs from my family, and religion is just one of those subjects where is is easy to offend.  I wouldn't want to say something that made someone I care about feel bad, so I may be awkward and brief.

Do I consider myself a religious person?  No.

What do I believe happens when I die?  I have no idea.  The idea of heaven and reuniting with loved ones is what I grew up with, but I don't know that I believe that anymore.  The science fiction lover in me would like to believe while we cease to exist in this life, maybe we find ourselves in another life or another plane of existence (I know, crazy talk).  Maybe nothing happens except we just stop being.

Do my current believes align with what I was taught as a child?  No.  Growing up my sisters and I were raised Lutheran and we were very active in the church.

If not, what was the turning point?  I started feeling differently about things when I saw how so many of the people I had trusted abused that trust and justified it with religion.  (I blogged about it here).  It left a bad taste in my mouth and opened my eyes to a side of religious zeal I could not get behind.  Once I saw it, I saw it every where.  And then I saw the judging of others, the people who acted like they were better than everyone, and the people who acted christian but were anything but when they weren't being watched.  I wanted no part of any of that.

It's hard thinking about this and feeling the way I do, if my parents bring it up it causes friction.  They have a hard time understanding where I'm coming from.  My parents still attend the same church, one of my sisters is active in her church family.  Despite my lack of belief, I do appreciate the values I was taught.  And I support my sister wanting that for her kids.  I just don't feel like they need to be forced on people.  I can be thankful for what I have, and the people in my life without out going to church every Sunday.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!

Journal Day #7

Journal Day #7 - Social Media
Prompt:  Do you use social media in your daily life?  Do you think it adds to your relationships with others, or takes away from them?  And furthermore, do you think social media adds more positive or negative to your life?  Write about your relationship with social media, and talk a bit about how you got started, and what role it plays in your world.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media.  I love having friends and entertainment right at my fingertips, but I hate how it's almost forced on you if you use the internet.  If you visit a website or a blog you are invited to pin things or follow them/like them on Facebook, sometimes quite persistently.  Even work requires use of social media at times

I was slow to get into social media.  I started with message boards which led to LiveJournal, then MySpace, and Blogger, and then Facebook and Google+.  And then I find myself using Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, Reddit, and Pinterest.  And those are just the ones I have used or am using.  There are so many others out there, and then programs to help you manage them all - I have to throw my hands up in the air and walk away before the crazy consumes me.

My first steps into social media were not entirely by choice.  I wasn't avoiding in on purpose, I just didn't have much interest.  But that had to change when I became the webmaster for a fan club; part of that responsibility was maintaining a message board.  It was my social media gateway.  I had friends who were into other fan club boards, which I was lured into.  A few friends were into LiveJournal and I joined them.  LiveJournal was my first blogging experience, I'm pretty sure I still have the link for it somewhere but it's been years since I posted there.  A few friends talked me into MySpace, which I never really understood.  When people started switching to Facebook I held out for a bit but eventually joined to connect with family and those friends I knew from MySpace.  Then other things just sort of fell in with it, like Instagram (because that is the fun way to see what our tattoo artist is up to), and Pinterest.

It was mostly fun but the message board, for example, was a lot of work.  It was my first introduction to trolls and people who would say anything for attention.  Moderation on a message board is something I never want to do again.  As I got familiar with other social media I saw that there were those types people there too.  Another downside is privacy is harder to maintain.  David and I are pretty private people  I think he is more than I am and I try to be respectful of that.  Being online and connected to all the different social media can put you our there a little more than you may want to be.  Fraud and scammers have really ruined some of the fun.

I have to admit I like having friends and family right at my fingertips, just about any time of day.  Part of my day is visiting my Facebook feed to see what people are up to, and what cute animal pictures Daily Squee has shared.  It's nice to sit and mindlessly play Facebook games (yay CastleVille).  Pinterest is also a great place to find and save recipes, cleaning tips, and cute animals to look at on a bad day.  And blogging, that's where I regain some sanity as I work through all the things going through my mind, and work to find my writing voice.  And lastly I have to be thankful for social media because back in the day when AOL was the place to be, I met and made friends with my husband.  For me, I feel social media is a positive in my life as long as I don't get sucked into all pins and games.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!

Pablo

Prompt:  In 500 words tell the story of spider and his death. 

Pablo was having really bad luck catching food.  No matter how he built his web, nothing was coming his way.  His instinct told him it was time to move on or starve.  He gently descended downward on a single strand of silk from his spinnerets, cautiously feeling his way with his delicate, hairy legs.  He touched down and with a last look; he severed himself from his home.

He could feel a very slight breeze on his bristles and thought if he followed that he might have luck finding food.  Pablo scurried forward, stopping to feel for vibrations and to make sure he was not straying from the breeze.  When Pablo came up to an edge he carefully felt around to see if he should go over the edge or follow it.  His instinct told him to go down and follow the breeze, so down he crawled.  The space became tight, but he could feel he way through and found himself in a bright area with a nice breeze.  His spider senses were tingling, he hoped this meant he would find a meal soon.  First he had to make a new web.

When Pablo found the perfect spot he set his first anchor and begun the process of building his web.  He took his and used lots of lines, he hoped to catch several meals.  There had been remnants of another web there; he briefly wondered where the other spider was as he was weaving his web.  When he was finished he crawled up to his hub to conserve energy and wait.  He acquainted himself with the feel of the breeze and the tremors of his new web while he waited.

When the vibrations increased he knew there was something in his web.  He cautiously descended from his hub; if he wasn't careful his prey might attack him or knock him from his web.  He approached the place the vibrations were coming from; they were not as strong or urgent as they had been.  Good.  His prey was tiring.  That would make his work easier.  He began wrapping his prey carefully in silk.  Once Pablo was sure his meal was secure and he was safe from harm, he slid his fangs in and injected his meal with a paralytic and digestive fluids.  As he was enjoying his meal he felt new vibrations in his web; his next meal!

Now that he had fed he was less anxious.  He took the time to groom himself while he waited for his prey to tire.  He cleaned his fangs and eyes, and was generally feeling good about his move.  When the vibrations lessened he slowly crept over to investigate.  His prey was good and tired and securely stuck in his web, so he began to systematical wrap his next meal.

Out of nowhere the breeze suddenly picked up, and the light faded.  Pablo was torn between his next meal and getting to safety.  As he was crawling back to his hub he was plucked from his web.  He felt some of his legs break away as he was swallowed by a bird.

Goodbye Pablo.

Thank you for the prompt Lady Loki!