Choices

My sisters and I were raised Christian.  As we got older this meant something different for each of us.  I had my fill of attending church and dealing with the hypocrisy that seemed to take hold of so many people after I saw how things really were.  When my sisters and I were growing up we were very active in our local church.  We attended Sunday School and church services, we were part of the children's choir and later the adult choir, we were acolytes (lighting the candles at the front of the church and helping with communion), ushers, Sunday school teachers/assistants, attended confirmation classes when we were old enough, and members of the hand-bell choir.  Of course some of those rolls we grew into, but we were always a part of something.

Valerie and I being awesome acolytes

Magic Carpet Ride

Growing up my parents owned and operated an herb store.  It was right off the main road through town, and the house I grew up in was on the same property.  It was a part of my world growing up because it was just right there in our front yard.  I saw the store as a place of wonder and adventure, so many different smells and things to look at.  There were shelves upon shelves of jars of herbs.  But there was also so much more. My dad like to mix and grind his own coffee.  At first I hated the sound of the coffee grinder, it was loud and it rattled something fierce, but I came to love the smell of the freshly ground coffee. My parents also sold tea, soaps, shampoos, books, magazines, candy, tobacco and tobacco paraphernalia.  I liked to hang out in the shop with mom, and smell all the things.

Early School Year, What Were They Thinking?

I am old enough that when I was growing up, Kindergarten didn't seem to be mandatory; at least I didn't go so I assume it wasn't required.  In fact, I didn't actually attend public school until third grade.  My parents had made the decision to home school me, so my first two years of school were in the family kitchen.  I remember the dark brown shiny table, and the red plastic chairs with the black paisley-like pattern.  I didn't know any different, public schools weren't part of my world.  Of course I saw school buses and the other kids riding them, and I would see the schools in town as we drove by and kids playing on the playground.  I wanted that.  I wanted to ride the yellow bus to school, I wanted to play with other kids.  I didn't understand why they got to go to school together, but I had to stay home.

First grade me

That Time I was Invited to Join Swim Team...

I was reflecting on some things that had happened over a weekend and found myself remembering the time I was invited to join the local swim team.  Sounds weird but trust me, they are related.

For those of you who know me, you know I am horrible at making decisions.  For those of you who don't know me, trust me.  I know it's not an uncommon issue among human kind, but I'm REALLY bad about it.  I shut down and am even more frustrating to talk to than normal.  I was trying to figure out if I've always been that way, or if there was an event in my life that made me this way.  Short answer, I think I've always been this way.  As I grew up things I was told by the people around me became things I 'learned' and helped contribute to the indecisive, anxious, insecure person I am today.  Enter swim team memory.