I thought maybe I'd try to post one of these once a month. Here is one for July!
Making: Piles. I'm trying to pick up some of my messes and put stuff away. I have a lot of sorting I need to do. How does that happen?
Cooking: Nothing right now. Maybe I'll find some inspiration this weekend! I really wish I didn't crave junk food, because I just can't make and have that stuff in the house.
Drinking: Dr. Pepper and water.
Reading: Re-reading "Living Dead in Dallas" by Charlaine Harris. I wish the TV show wouldn't have gone so far off track.
Looking: Forward to having my husband home. He's been out of town for work and I really miss him when he's gone. I don't like time away from him, and I know he's not happy either. I'm looking forward to the first hug when he comes into the house.
Playing: Facebook games. I can't help myself.
Wasting: Time. I'm restless and having a hard time focusing on one task.
Sewing: I'm working on getting my next project mapped out. I finished the secret project, it's in someone else's hands now. It's nice to be done with it and able to start my next one.
Wishing: For a long weekend. I wish this weekend was a three day (or longer, hee hee) weekend.
Enjoying: So You Think You Can Dance. I look forward to it every season, and I can't wait to watch last nights episode with David this weekend. So much talent, and amazing dancing!
Waiting: For David's plan to land. (Can you tell I miss him?)
Liking: The crazy blue nail polish I have on. (it's called Liberty)
Wondering: What tomorrow has in store for me.
Loving: My husband. Always.
Hoping: Tomorrow goes fast.
Marveling: At how fast the grass has been growing.
Needing: A beach weekend with David. We will have one, just have to survive the summer first!
Smelling: The lingering aroma of sweet potato fries.
Wearing: Casual attire. T-shirt and jeans with red converse.
Following: Several texts with friends and family.
Noticing: I'm really good at spacing out and getting distracted.
Feeling: Wiped out.
Opening: Browser windows, so I can blog and play Facebook games.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Journal Day #14
Journal Day #14 - Plans
Prompt: Think about the plans you had for your adult self when you were younger-would you say they match up to your reality today? What did you wish for your future when you were a child? Did you have a plan? And would you say you've followed that plan in any way? This week, look at the life you hoped to have (even if you consider your childhood "dreams" silly now) and see how your current life compares.
Growing up I wanted to be like my mom. I wanted to be married and have kids. I wanted a house, and pets (cats). And I was going to be a nurse, just like my mom. Then I discovered I didn't deal well with the sight of blood (translation: I would see blood and pass out). Being a nurse was no longer party of my vision. Then I wanted to be a teacher (English or Music), or maybe a librarian. I would write in my free time. I wanted to be surrounded by books and office supplies. I have always liked office supplies.
By the time college rolled around my vision of my future changed a lot. With the way music programs were being cut left and right a future as a music teacher wasn't too promising. Grades were also an obstacle for me and getting into the education program and competing with all the others in the program was just not something I could handle. But that was okay. I would find something, I would figure things out. One thing I learned (as much as I hate a plan not working out, or not even having a plan to begin with) was how to roll with things. I have always done things the hard way, or gone the long way around. So while my plan was taking some time to reformulate I pursued a business degree with an English minor.
I graduated. I met and married a wonderful man. We moved into a lovely home, and adopted a fur-kid. So I didn't become a teacher. I did graduate with a business degree and have used that in my job as a I'm a legal assistant (I'm being sarcastic, mostly). We don't have kids, but I'm finally at peace with that. I have an amazing relationship with my husband, which I've gushed about before so won't go on and on about how lucky I know I am. I feel like the important things I wished for happened. I may not have followed my plan, but I think I learned to follow my path. I'm happy, and I believe my life turned out better than what I thought I wanted when I was younger.
Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!
Prompt: Think about the plans you had for your adult self when you were younger-would you say they match up to your reality today? What did you wish for your future when you were a child? Did you have a plan? And would you say you've followed that plan in any way? This week, look at the life you hoped to have (even if you consider your childhood "dreams" silly now) and see how your current life compares.
Growing up I wanted to be like my mom. I wanted to be married and have kids. I wanted a house, and pets (cats). And I was going to be a nurse, just like my mom. Then I discovered I didn't deal well with the sight of blood (translation: I would see blood and pass out). Being a nurse was no longer party of my vision. Then I wanted to be a teacher (English or Music), or maybe a librarian. I would write in my free time. I wanted to be surrounded by books and office supplies. I have always liked office supplies.
By the time college rolled around my vision of my future changed a lot. With the way music programs were being cut left and right a future as a music teacher wasn't too promising. Grades were also an obstacle for me and getting into the education program and competing with all the others in the program was just not something I could handle. But that was okay. I would find something, I would figure things out. One thing I learned (as much as I hate a plan not working out, or not even having a plan to begin with) was how to roll with things. I have always done things the hard way, or gone the long way around. So while my plan was taking some time to reformulate I pursued a business degree with an English minor.
I graduated. I met and married a wonderful man. We moved into a lovely home, and adopted a fur-kid. So I didn't become a teacher. I did graduate with a business degree and have used that in my job as a I'm a legal assistant (I'm being sarcastic, mostly). We don't have kids, but I'm finally at peace with that. I have an amazing relationship with my husband, which I've gushed about before so won't go on and on about how lucky I know I am. I feel like the important things I wished for happened. I may not have followed my plan, but I think I learned to follow my path. I'm happy, and I believe my life turned out better than what I thought I wanted when I was younger.
Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!
Journal Day #13
Journal Day #13 - State of Me
Prompt: This week, write a "State of Me" address. Write about how you're really doing-what you've been thinking, what you've been up to. What have you accomplished lately? Where is there room for growth? Where are you right now in life and where are you headed? Current joys, current sadness...write it all out. Discuss the current state of YOU.
I like to think I'm generally a good-natured, nice person. Lately, I'm not gonna lie, I've been a bit of a grump. I think I'm a little overwhelmed at work. There are lots of changes and things looming on the horizon, but there are a lot of unknowns with these changes and that makes planning (something I have to do or I get really grumpy and stressed out) nearly impossible. I've been feeling very short-tempered and short on patience.
I've also been dealing with some health frustrations that just don't seem to want to cut me a break. We had to select a new health care provider because our wonderful doctor moved. It took way to long to get that sorted out, and now that we have it sorted out we have our "meet our new provider" appointments set. Meanwhile prescriptions are running out (which I know we can get refilled, it's just one more thing that has to be harder than it needs to be to get it done), and I have some concerns about one that I've been taking. While it's (last I knew) doing the job it was intended for, I believe it may be holding back (or, stopping completely) my weight loss. All the weight I lost previously has come back, rather quickly, and is not dropping. I've been walking with David for a few months and eating smarter and I haven't even shed a pound. Before the meds, I would have lost at least a pound every other week. It's very disheartening to be overweight and trying to tackle it with little to no success. So now I have do decide, do I go off the meds and see if that's what was preventing weight loss but lose the benefits of the meds for the reason I'm taking them? Weight loss and a healthier diet did not help the other problem, hence the meds. I just feel like I can't win. I'm always going to have weight problems, I like food to much. But I was doing so good, and was actually feeling better and now...now, I'm just frustrated with myself, embarrassed, and depressed.
So I'm fat, depressed, and I haven't been writing. I've tried, but I find I'm just chewing on my pen staring at lined paper wishing I could write more than "all work and no play makes Emily a dull girl." And, I should confess I haven't even written that.
My happy place, the thing that keeps me going even when I don't want to crawl out of bed int he morning, is my husband. Even when I'm feeling insecure and really crappy about myself, he is there cheering me on. No questions, no pushing, no judgment. He just loves me and gets that I'm going to cry during certain episodes of Doctor Who or Dexter. I look forward to our weekends together doing things around the house or marathoning something fun on TV.
Something strange has been happening the last few nights, something I feel like I haven't had happen in years and it's happened the last few nights, I wake up and remember my dreams. They aren't anything noteworthy. One was riding a whale in a grocery store, and the other was building a tree house and doing the plumbing so my dad wouldn't have to.
I have got to get out of this rut. I have an amazing husband who needs me to be tuned in for him, we are each others person (Grey's fans will get the reference). I have sisters, and birthdays and things and I need to be here and engaged for them, because these are all good and positive things I look forward to every year.
Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!
Prompt: This week, write a "State of Me" address. Write about how you're really doing-what you've been thinking, what you've been up to. What have you accomplished lately? Where is there room for growth? Where are you right now in life and where are you headed? Current joys, current sadness...write it all out. Discuss the current state of YOU.
I like to think I'm generally a good-natured, nice person. Lately, I'm not gonna lie, I've been a bit of a grump. I think I'm a little overwhelmed at work. There are lots of changes and things looming on the horizon, but there are a lot of unknowns with these changes and that makes planning (something I have to do or I get really grumpy and stressed out) nearly impossible. I've been feeling very short-tempered and short on patience.
I've also been dealing with some health frustrations that just don't seem to want to cut me a break. We had to select a new health care provider because our wonderful doctor moved. It took way to long to get that sorted out, and now that we have it sorted out we have our "meet our new provider" appointments set. Meanwhile prescriptions are running out (which I know we can get refilled, it's just one more thing that has to be harder than it needs to be to get it done), and I have some concerns about one that I've been taking. While it's (last I knew) doing the job it was intended for, I believe it may be holding back (or, stopping completely) my weight loss. All the weight I lost previously has come back, rather quickly, and is not dropping. I've been walking with David for a few months and eating smarter and I haven't even shed a pound. Before the meds, I would have lost at least a pound every other week. It's very disheartening to be overweight and trying to tackle it with little to no success. So now I have do decide, do I go off the meds and see if that's what was preventing weight loss but lose the benefits of the meds for the reason I'm taking them? Weight loss and a healthier diet did not help the other problem, hence the meds. I just feel like I can't win. I'm always going to have weight problems, I like food to much. But I was doing so good, and was actually feeling better and now...now, I'm just frustrated with myself, embarrassed, and depressed.
So I'm fat, depressed, and I haven't been writing. I've tried, but I find I'm just chewing on my pen staring at lined paper wishing I could write more than "all work and no play makes Emily a dull girl." And, I should confess I haven't even written that.
My happy place, the thing that keeps me going even when I don't want to crawl out of bed int he morning, is my husband. Even when I'm feeling insecure and really crappy about myself, he is there cheering me on. No questions, no pushing, no judgment. He just loves me and gets that I'm going to cry during certain episodes of Doctor Who or Dexter. I look forward to our weekends together doing things around the house or marathoning something fun on TV.
Something strange has been happening the last few nights, something I feel like I haven't had happen in years and it's happened the last few nights, I wake up and remember my dreams. They aren't anything noteworthy. One was riding a whale in a grocery store, and the other was building a tree house and doing the plumbing so my dad wouldn't have to.
I have got to get out of this rut. I have an amazing husband who needs me to be tuned in for him, we are each others person (Grey's fans will get the reference). I have sisters, and birthdays and things and I need to be here and engaged for them, because these are all good and positive things I look forward to every year.
Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!
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